time marches on...

Yesterday, I received the phone call that gave us the 4 day window for when Tyrone will be leaving. It's soon. In less than a month. So, we are gearing up for that. Tyrone has been packing his bags, loading up Kevlar and green socks. I have been slowly, oh so slowly, finding ways to do more on my own. I went to the grocery store with 2 of the kids, including the {fussy} baby. I've started doing the bus stop on my own with all 4. I'm making a formalized chore chart for the older 3. Planning meals and stocking the freezer. It's a start.

Emmeline is now 9 1/2 weeks old and is more easily entertained. Not only do I have the pouch, I can put her down to play in small doses for the things that I can't do while wearing her. She is on....well, not a schedule, but a basic routine. She is more predictable, and I am able to mesh her routine and Shiloh's without too much trouble. The weather is getting pretty, so I can take her outside more. All of that helps.

I have come to accept that I am going to spend every day at full speed trying to meet everyone's needs for the next year. But, there can be a contentment in that....knowing that when I tuck my kids in to bed, I have done my job well and was the best Mommy today that I know how to be. That is my goal for this deployment....peacefulness and contentment. I certainly won't meet that goal everyday, but it is what I am praying for and striving towards. If you want to pray for me, that is what I am asking you to pray. But, above all, Tyrone's safety, please!

We've been hearing scary stories coming out of Afghanistan, and I have been fighting a panic that rises when I let my guard down. I am doing my best, and mostly succeeding, in just being still and enjoying the time that we have left, and looking forward to starting the count down until we will all be together again. So, for now, we are just soaking in time together...