we are

okay. And that's all that we can really hope for at this point.

Kaleb has been drawing pictures and writing poems that we have been mailing off to Daddy, which really seems to help him. He also is finding comfort in keeping the promises he made to him (take out the trash, help mom). He is being a very big boy and a very big help.

Gabe has been okay in general, although his hyper-ness seems to have picked up some. We talk about Dad helping kids like him, and that seems to mean something to him, and bring him some understanding. It's hard for a child like Gabe who needs routine, because they are on Spring Break this week. I'm hoping that getting back into the structure of school on Monday will help bring him back onto an even keel.

Shiloh is hard, because she doesn't really understand. She keeps running to the window to look outside. Yesterday she tried her hardest to get me to say that Daddy would be right back, but of course I can't say that. She has been rather fussy, and I can't say I blame her. But, we've been looking at lots of pictures of Daddy and just talking about him in general.

Emmeline is happily oblivious, of course. Lucky her :)

I am doing okay, too. I've gotten to talk to Tyrone once on the phone and twice on the computer, which is nice. They have not reached their final destination yet, but they are close. All of the volcanic ash is posing a travel complication. I asked Tyrone how it was over there and he said "Hot. Hot and crowded. And hot." lol :) I have sent several of you his mailing address. If you wanted it and I did not send it to you, let me know and I will get on it.

We've been doing lots of spring cleaning, and lots of playing. We did all have to go to Walmart on Thursday, no getting around it, and I cried at the checkout. The kids were decently behaved, so it wasn't that. I called my mom in tears from the parking lot and she asked me what specifically was upsetting. I didn't have a great answer at the time, but I've thought a lot about it since then. It's that this is reality, I think. I'm not sitting at home, cleaning and playing, and waiting on Tyrone to come home to help me with the everyday stuff. This is it, this is on me. Need to go to the store? On me. The kids aren't in school? Still on me to go to the store. The debit card isn't working right? STILL on me. Baby is crying while I need to put cold groceries up? Me. Gabe and Shiloh are going at it, the dog needs to go out, the baby is still crying, the cat just ran out the front door, the back door of the truck is still open? Me, me, me. Yup. So I think that's what it was. Is. Whatever. I'll adjust, but identifying what those feelings are is a good first step. So, there they are. :)

In other news, not everything is so depressing. I found a picnic table for the kids on Craigslist for $10 yesterday! Awesome deal. And I went to Starbucks courtesy of Suzanne & Judy :D. I also got an awesome package from Judy and cookies from my Mom. Nice to feel so loved....what a pick-me-up to find nice surprises in your mailbox!

Also, Emmeline has found her feet and is starting to think she can sleep without me constantly holding her. The first is adorable and the second is simply fabulous. Anyway, we are making it and I know that your prayers are pulling us through....I've never felt them so completely as now. Thank you!