splash part 2!

We went back to the splash park tonight and had alot of fun! Also, I am 20 weeks pregnant today, or half way there! And 10 days down out of Tyrone's training!!!






Check it out! Shiloh got really brave in the water today!

Kaleb took it a little easier today then yesterday...

Gabe was making rainbows, see that look of awe? Priceless!

Shiloh got a little chilly

Back to playing hard!

Full on water fight! See the rainbow in the middle?

Wearing Mommy's flip flops

Silly!

Run for all you're worth!

splash park!!!

Today was actually a pretty full day for us! We went to register the boys for school, you may remember that I had done this before, but since we moved, new school, had to register again! We came home for naps and lunch and then headed to the splash park here on post! Dawn met us over there, and we played for three hours, coming home just in time for baths, dinner, a little cartoon time and then off to bed!


Nice splash park, huh? You can see the boys in these, playing with the water guns mostly...

It took Shiloh a whole 2 hours to warm up to all that shooting, spouting water. She spent alot of her time on the sidelines....

But Gabe would come sit with her and play when he was warming up in the sun...

Kaleb getting the water dumped on him!

A little girl just a tad older then Shiloh befriended her and showed her that it was really ok to go in the water, so she finally got some water play in!

Handsome boy!

Chillin'!

No good close ups of Kaleb, because he never stopped long enough for me to get one! He is the only one that did not sit down and rest even once!!

separation

I have gotten some comments, online and otherwise, to the effect of "there are people worse off then you" and "you knew what you were signing up for" and "we don't talk about this" when I talk about my husband being away for extended periods of time, whether it is a deployment or extended training. I found this attitude interesting, and have decided to address it.

I do not think that my life is worse then anyone else's. I'm not comparing or making light of other people's situations. Each life comes with it's own unique trials that challenge that person, and what may be trivial to one person can be potentially heart breaking to another. That is because of the truth that we are all very different. You will NEVER find me telling a friend who has come to me needing to talk "Well, that's not so bad...." People most often do not want you to solve their problems, they simply want them to be acknowledged. Listening is a wonderful gift to give, and talking, quite cathartic.

When I talk about Tyrone being gone, it is because currently, it is shaking up my little world. He may be one person, but in this house, he is a hero, a best friend, a kisser of boo boos, a fixer of drawers when they are pulled off track, a teddy bear when a little girl pouts, a confidant, a teacher, a wrestling buddy, a joint partaker of midnight snacks....There is a definite void when he is not here. And I do not try to fill it.

Let me explain. We do life, and I try to step in where my children need me to be "daddy" when he is not here, but I can't be Tyrone. So I don't try. I don't WANT to fill his void. What a horrible thing it would be if we didn't miss him, didn't think of him, didn't need him. I don't want to "get used" to life without him. He is my life partner. So we do things differently when he is gone, circle the wagons a little closer, love on each other maybe a tad more, and anxiously cross days off of the calender.

As for "knowing what I got in to" well, that's semi true. I knew that deployments were guaranteed, but I did not know how it would feel, how it would look. I did not grow up in a military family, the whole thing was just an idea....until it was not. But, regardless, should I not miss him? The wife of a business man gone for a week misses him, and isn't chided for it. The wife of a fireman breathes a sigh of relief when her husband makes it home from his 24 on, and isn't thought less of. I'm not saying we're MORE then them....I'm saying, I miss him, like every other wife whose husband is away. He's my husband. He's gone. So I miss him.

Now, as for "we don't talk about that..." Well, I don't really care. Maybe that's the standard, but it's not my standard, I never agreed to it. I don't spend my days whining and crying. Mostly, it's head up, moving on. I take care of the kids, and the bills, and the house work, and keeping the car up to date on maintenance. There is not enough time in the day to have many pity parties. But I also run if I hear the phone, and cry if I miss a call. I wonder what he's doing. I try to figure out how much meatloaf I should make, since Tyrone won't be at the table. I actually start to miss washing those infernal, stinky ACUs with the never ending pockets that would put Mary Poppins' bag to shame.

So, sometimes I say I miss him. Sometimes I write about it. There are many days that go by that the only people that I have a real conversation in person with are my kids. So, sometimes I need an outlet for these adult thoughts that I would never lay on their young shoulders. I do not think that our life is more deserving of sympathy and/or praise then yours. I am not asking for anyone to get super excited about what we're going through. Just the same listening ear that I offer you when your dog ate the trash....AGAIN.

This really isn't directed at one particular person or anything like that, just something I've been wanting to say for a while, as I've been a tad befuddled at some people's reactions here and there when I talk about my husband. I'm not angry at all, but I do hope this gives some insight, food for thought. Or, you know, at least an eye roll ;)

movie night

tyrone

Have I mentioned that he is gone, left for training on Monday, and will not be back for another 23 days yet? Maybe not...but surely I've mentioned that I love him madly and miss him like crazy when he is gone, right?! These days are dragging by and, honestly, it is all I can do to not start thinking about the next deployment.

Ok, I'm thinking about it. When he gets back, we'll only have about 4 months before he leaves again for a year. Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for those four months....I will cherish those four months, as I cherish the fact that at even though he is gone at the moment, he is not in harm's way, he is actually learning things that will keep him safe during his next trip to the Middle East.

Still, in a completely non-melodramatic way, I really miss him. We do practically everything together anytime we get the chance, and the kids are crazy about him and get thrown WAY off kilter when he goes away (ahem, Gabe, ahem). He leaves a very definite Tyrone sized hole when he goes away. I would welcome prayers for us as we contemplate this next deployment....I am praying often, because when I don't, I start to get that panicky feeling in my chest and that pukey feeling in the pit of my stomach.

But, anyway, the main point is I love him, and he's gone, so I miss him <3 :)

precious

Yesterday, I was sitting on my couch watching the children play and playing with them. Shiloh climbed up on the couch and snuggled in to my side, saying "hug!", which is something she does at least 10 times a day. I gladly put my arm around her, and kissed the top of her gorgeous brown curls, just as the boys came racing back from the kitchen, I think the game was power rangers. I affirmed to them that I was the pink power ranger, and that I was on the side of truth, justice, and the American way, so never fear! They giggled and took off again to get the best of some enemy. About that time, the waist band on my pants became an annoyance to baby girl, and she started kicking at it, making sure I knew that I had infringed on her space.

And, again, as it has a million times lately, an awareness of the blessings in my life washed over me. You might think that, being on baby number four, some of this would be old hat, but nothing is further from the truth. I feel the kicking and rolling of our new little girl, or catch a glimpse of my pregnant silhouette as I go about my day, and I still am in awe that we have been blessed this way. Each of our children has brought this feeling with them, and I struggle to put words to the enormity of it.

Kaleb, my thinker and kind soul. Gabe, my fount of endless energy and cuddle bug. Shiloh, my "little mommy" and giver of unlimited kisses. Who knows about this newest little one? We would not be a complete family without each of them, so, no, it does not get old. If anything, each of them has shown me more possibilities then I dreamed could exist, and I become more excited each day.

I thank God for giving us these precious gifts....may we never take them for granted.

18 weeks, 2 days, and my birthday!

Ok, here is a belly pic for those of you that have been asking! Sorry it's not better, I need to work on the lighting in my bathroom maybe, lol!


Now, here is the scoop on baby girl! Our due date is definitely New Year's Eve, although I will continue to hope that she comes late, in order to delay Tyrone's deployment as much as possible! Everything that we could see at the ultrasound looked fabulous, but she was hiding her head WAY down low, so we actually get a bonus ultrasound in a few weeks to get a good look at her nose, lips, and all that jazz. So, no great profile pics of her as of yet, but look for those in the next few weeks! But, we are VERY sure she's a girl, she wasn't shy about that at all, lol. Also, she weighs 8 oz right now, which puts her in the 48th percentile, just perfect!

The ultrasound tech was the most awesome ever! She was very motherly towards me, and was VERY into letting the boys be a part of the process (Shiloh could have cared less, lol). She played baby girl's heartbeat for them as many times as they wanted to hear it, let them have some of the ultrasound goo on their hands, and did a quick look at each of their hands with the ultrasound wand. The result was that it was quite the experience, and they felt really included, which makes me so happy!

They were both sure that they were getting a brother, but neither are fazed at all that they are getting a second sister instead. Kaleb told me tonight that he reckoned another sister was pretty good, too! As for Tyrone and I, well, we are over the moon that there will be 2 princesses in this house!

And, finding out about her was the best early birthday present ever, as today is my birthday. Tyrone and the kids took me out for a VERY yummy lunch at Texas Road House, and I am still full, 7 hours later! Oh, and princess does have a name, but we are going to save it until her birth!